|Original review author:||Forcedjapanesename and Lesbot|
|Webcomic name:||Panty Brigade|
|Author:||"Andeh Pinkard" AKA Nobody McWeeaboo|
|Start Date||September 28th, 2008|
|End Date||Shit sure is persistent.|
|Genre||TTLLY RDCL Weeaboo garbage.|
|Defining Flaw||Centering everything around that CHEESE MONKEY RANDOM bullshit makes no premise, but an incoherent shitpile.|
From the about page of the site;
In the vein of FLCL’s Haruko Haruhara and Hewlitt and Martin’s very own punk rock goddess of riotous behavior Tank Girl comes Andeh Pinkard’s Queens of punk rock chaos and Overlords of Geek girl randomaucity THE PANTY BRIGADE.
In case you can't understand that weaboo gibberish, I'll translate. Once upon a time, Andeh Andy Pinkard watched an anime and read an old comic book. He liked them because they had female characters that were a) batshit insane, and b) violent. So rather than take this idea and put a new twist on it, Andy decided to attempt to recreate it without adding anything new at all.
Story, Plot and Writing
Setting the mood is a quote from Urban Dictionary;
The latest buzzword used amongst mindless teenagers as a way of showing just so utterly irreverent their predictable sense of humour is. Particularly dominant among English teens and University students, the word "random" or the act of being "random" is a desperate plea for others to recognise how totally against the grain of the norm you are and that you're really crazy and out there. Trouble is, being "random" is predictable, boring, moronic and extremely sad indeed.
Andy takes this desperation to be CUH-RAZY and OMG-WACKY-AWESOOOME to an absurd degree, as you will no doubt see in the next few links. This comic is practically the embodiment of "trying too hard".
The very first page pretty much sums up what you should be expecting from the entirety of this comic. There are five girls, each with one interest; because as we know, all fleshed-out and believable characters have only one interest that they quote their love of whenever they can. (Unless the writer actually doesn't know that much about their interest, then they just default to babbling about sex.)
- The supposed main character (and leader of the bunch of thinner-than-cardboard, misogynist stereotypes known as the Panty Brigade); a "mecha otaku", which (when translated from Weeaboonese) means "obsessive fantard of really big fantasy robots". Interestingly, where the others slavishly utter mind-boggingly stupid lines matching their particular stereotype, Andeh forgets her particular stereotype about a page in.
- The one who is obsessed with fire/fireworks/bombs/explosions, cleverly named Cherry Bomb.
- Penny Pesticide, stereotypical fangirl of yaoi (Japanese cartoon porn of men that look like girls).
- Lobotomy, the GRRLL GAAYMERRR
- and Kancer, who is 27 and still plays with Pokemon cards.
All of these characters;
- Are violent
- Respond violently to being hit on by guys
- Constantly talk about sex and their NEED FOR IT UUUGGGHHHH OH MY GOD SEX
- Bark references to their allocated interests like a pack of trained dogs
They're essentially all the same character, is what I'm saying, and that character is Tank Girl with all the charm and surrealism dragged out and replaced with weaboo pop culture references and dick jokes. MMM YES BECAUSE DEM GRRLS SURE LOVE 'EM SOME DICK
The Weaboo Patrol decide to start a band, despite not knowing how to play any instruments or sing, because they are bored. (OMG THAT'S SO CRAZY!) They punch some emos to assert their masculinity (OMG VIOLENT GRRLS ARE SO HOTT!) and spout some old internet memes to… I dunno, look like they've only just discovered 4chan? (OMG I POST ON 4CHAN TOO! I AM CONNECTING SO HARD WITH THESE CHARACTERS!!!) It's all pretty standard fare for anyone who's ever read a marysue fanfiction; the girls go to a place, act like they think they're cool while looking like a bunch of twats, end of. You almost start expecting Draco Malfoy to burst out of a cupboard and confess his love for one of the silly bitches.
Honourable mentions for particularly moronic and creepy pages;
- Raping unconscious women sure is hilarious. No really. Anyone who doesn't laugh at rape jokes is just jealous of your comedic talent.
- Another member joins the Twat Parade. Fortunately she has the exact same personality as the rest of them, so we don't have to worry about any interesting character interaction or anything.
- There's a reference to yet another anime; actually this is the second time in the comic that same animu is referenced, and not the last. Captain Weaboo Andy's animu list must be pretty EXCLUSIVE.
Of course this entire thing was a buildup to the main character flashing her laughably misshapen titties and then the next comic throws us straight into the next plot without even so much as a title page. I guess proper pacing is for SQUARES who don't understand Andy's CRAZY PUNK ATTITUDE.
Whatever. Next is some sort of crossover comic, crossing over with a 404'd comic lasting for two strips. Considering it's just two pages of UNGH OH YEAH GIRL PANTS UMMM OH YES CUMMING OH GOD BANG BANG VIOLENCE AND TITS UNGH it's hardly worth mentioning.
After that interlude we return to some kinda reboot or something. We get treated with Eyepatch's cameltoe as she makes YET ANOTHER REFERENCE (the same one, actually) to THAT ONE SAME ANIME. Gosh Andy, I'm beginning to doubt you're a proper weaboo at all!
There's a half-hearted attempt to flesh out the characters a little more by giving them favourite kinds of music as well as their other one interest, but it's not enough to stop their conversations sounding like one person arguing with herself in a mirror.
Oh and of course, yet another reference to THAT SAME ONE FUCKING ANIME. God damn it, Andy, watch something else. That series ended a long time ago. You can't call yourself a weaboo shut-in because you watched one show. That's like calling yourself an alcoholic because you once drank one whole bottle of wine and you've never forgotten the experience.
The story (so far) ends with the Tart Troupe abandoning their garage sale to murder passers by in a fit of WACKY RANDOM SUDDEN VIOLENCE that anyone (and everyone) saw coming from a mile away.
Protip: If the one thing you can produce is a jumbled, nonsensical mess then DON'T PRODUCE IT.
The art in Panty Brigade is about as wonky, slapdash and lazy as you can get while still being able to identify the characters as animes humans. Every panel is a mess of dilettante shading, unnecessary Ben-day dots, carcinogen gaudy colours and haphazard lines. Not only is it difficult to know what is going on, but it's genuinely unpleasant to look at. Though I'm sure Andy would take that as some sort of retarded compliment. WOO YEAH, I SPIT IN THE FACE OF ARTISTIC MERIT! COME BACK WHEN YOU CAN IRONICALLY ENJOY MY SHIT SCRIBBLES!!
Also, like every other webcomic artist who uses imitation-anime to draw fanservice, Andy seems to have only witnessed the female body through the medium of Japanese cartoons. All of the characters have shiny spherical helium balloons for breasts, and god FORBID any of the Dumbass Dance Troupe have tits smaller than the size of their head. This is ANIME, MOTHERFUCKER.
He didn't write much about himself (read: nothing), but you can derive his personality from his other stuff with near 100% accuracy.
- He's a manchild with the maturity of a 12-year old.
- WEEABOO WEEABOO POCKY KATANA SUGOI BOOBIES ^^
- He really fucking loves that one anime, geez.
- His mind regressed under the level required to comprehend the basic concepts of the English language.
- He has never seen a naked female body outside of Jap cartoon porn.
- He is a fucking attention whore.
- He has never known a lover's touch.
- He will die at a computer, alone.
His handle is also a piece of kawaii desu stereotype of adding -eh to the end of a word with an e sound i.e. "kitty" becomes "kitteh" and "douchey" becomes "doucheh." Anyone with half a brain would assume that someone typing like that was either a child below the age of eleven or mentally disabled, but Andy seems to find it OMG CYOOT.
There is nothing wrong with social commentary and trying to push the boundaries. Comics are an artform in themselves, but there's a difference between pushing the boundaries and being an attention whore. Reading this comic, you can practically hear Andy groaning a desperate HRRRNNNGGGHHH as he strains really, really hard to be COOL and WACKY and everything else normal people find obnoxious. Comparing the things Andy took inspiration from - Tank Girl, FLCL - to Panty Brigade is like comparing Monty Python sketches to a youtube video of a teenager in a Hot Topic shirt doing silly voices and throwing bits of cheese around. Andy essentially saw something he liked, then tried to imitate it but tried far, far too hard.
Apart from that; the characters are all the same unlikeable cookie-cutter female stereotype (omg she's VIOLENT and has an INTEREST that most people would associate with MALE GEEKS!), completely impossible to sympathise with unless you're the sort of shallow moron who'll connect with a character just because they play the same JRPG as you. The plot is entirely character driven (aka. it's just the girls dicking around constantly), which is impossible to pull off with such weak characters, and therefore falls completely flat on its ass.